Have you swallowed a dictionary?

If you can’t swallow it whole then eat it!

Picture by Lala (Shady Lane Studios) of flickr.com    

“If you have one thousand words in your head, then you will have no difficulty in speaking Arabic” my father said as he taught one of his classes. I was just there to see him teach. It wasn’t my class actually, my father is teaching a senior class in Sekolah Agama Taman Sri Pulai.  

One of my weakest subject was Arabic language, I can’t even write properly, what more if I speak Arabic then? It’ll definitely sound like trash. But what he said just now made me feel that he is challenging me. The challenge was to speak Arabic fluently. Do I dare to speak Arabic? 

So I grew up still I can’t master Arabic that good but at least I can speak or sometimes debate in Arabic language. I tried to apply what my father said by memorizing all the words I can. I listened to lectures and tried by very best to use the language. 

In my own words, I came out with a solution for a person to excel in language; the solution is to ask yourself “Have you swallowed a dictionary?” (Thanks to my dad of course)

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The battle to heaven

 

Look at the picture, what do you see?
If you see only twigs that you’re not looking properly!

I see twigs yes but I can see so much more!
I see a ‘battle to heaven’ and what I’m looking for!

If twigs are strong and lively,
will dead leaves grow sadly?

When the twigs are dry,
the leaves clinging onto it cannot cry.

They are crying alright,
but crying without tears all day and night.

Dry waterless as the dead twig,
useless like people who talk big.

I don’t want my life to be in drought!
Because my heart will be in doubt!

I want my life to be full of watery full of water,
Water is a source of life for me to treasure.

This is the battle to heaven!
We do not want our life to be rotten!

If I am before Allah, rotten!
I do not know whether I will win this battle to heaven!

But when I try my best to attain His Rahmah!

I will enter Jannah!

“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching”,
I will, because on that day, I will enter heaven!

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Bachelor of Taqwa from University of Ramadan

“That is Taqwa!” Picture by ~theForlorn of deviantART.com

On the tenth of Eidul Fitr, two old friends decided to meet each other. They wanted their special meeting to be at a special place, which is at their previous high school. It’s kind of killing two birds with one stone, missing a buddy and missing a school. With the combination of both, it brings back old unforgettable memories.

So they meet up at the musolla of the school.

“Assalamualaikum broer!” says Ameer to his old friend. “Long time no see. How have you been?”

The two of them hugged each other.

“Waalaikumussalam!” answered Ali “Yeah, it has been some time. I’ve been good.”

The both of them had a chit-chat over some old stories. Then Ameer asked Ali a question “You just graduated right from IIUM? What was your bachelor? Bachelor of English was it?”

“Me? Bachelor of English? No. That was a long time ago. Now I have a bachelor of Taqwa” said Ali confidently.

“Bachelor of Taqwa? From what university?” Ameer confused.

“From University of Ramadan” says Ali.

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This is your final Ramadan!

“Do we have a second chance?
Picture by D.Jelen of flickr.com

“Ameen! Sahur time! Come down, let’s eat” says mama to me. Cold it was at that time approximately 1 hour and a half before Subuh. There I sat in my Sajadah, reciting some Dzkir, just finished two rakaah of Tahjud, but looking forward for more.

I wasn’t really hungry but I was thirsty, thirsty for my ‘date’ with Allah. I need to quench that thirst, if not I will regret my life not able to capture that instant. Ramadan comes only once a year and there should not be a moment to be lost.

“Thanks mama, I’ll be down in 40 minutes” I responded half shouting.

“Okay” she replied. My little brother was with her. She has company so I don’t have to worry.

The next prayer I’m about to perform is Solah Taubah. It was dark. I love praying in a dark environment, it gives me the khusu’ in my prayer. It also centers my attention to only Allah and me alone in that darkness. It really symbolizes a ‘date’ of two lovers. This is the darkness that brings me to light. So I stood up back again facing my Lord in that darkness.

So I said my lafzu niyyah before prayer. Then I made my takbir ratul Ihram, at that moment, my whole body feel so cold, as cold like the South Pole. So cold. As if someone is watching me from behind. I tried to ignore that feeling. I kept continuing my prayer.

As I went on, losing myself in prayer, my body reached under zero temperature. So very cold. I really felt like a dark figure is behind me. Like that figure or someone is trying to do something to me. “Why not just strike me now?” my heart says.

Do you know the figure who I felt was standing behind me? It was like Malikul Maut. I really really thought that it was my time to go. I will leave this world. I will leave my mother without me eating Sahur together. Death will not be delayed not even a single split second.

“Why not just strike me now?” What am I thinking? Am I ready to meet Allah? I’m speaking as if I’m ‘fit’ and ‘ready’ to go. No no! I’m still not ready; I don’t even know when I will be ready. Please Allah! Don’t take me now. I don’t want this to be my final Ramadan!

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The sky is cryin', are you?

The sky is cryin’, are you?
Picture by Masterpiecestudios of flickr.com a.k.a my big bro

“Why can’t I cry?” I said to myself on the sajadah, longing for those tiny droplets to run free from my eyes. But it seems impossible to do so, just impossible. I’ve tried but it’s still not working.

“Why? Why it is so hard?” I stood up from where I sat and went to the mirror to see myself. Through the reflection of the mirror I see the body Allah has borrowed for me. I tried again crying in front of the mirror wanting to witness myself crying. But no. No physical change. No sad face. No heart pumping hard. No nothing. Just my old stiff face full of ignorance. 22 years of ignorance? Maybe. It freaks me out becoming the owner of a dark rusty heart.

Why am I craving so much for just crying? Isn’t crying a sign of weakness? Because only women cry and men don’t? If men cry they are not macho anymore? No no no!

I have a strong desire to cry because crying makes me strong.

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