I kept on asking myself “Why did we agree to accept?”,
when we know that it is out of the concept!?
Why didn’t we just call on quits rather than going forward?
Do you think we’re gonna be called a coward?
Now what has happened?
Almost everything burned,
the real message neglected,
Syara’ rejected.
"Easier said than done",
we always say this and that but everything seems to be gone!
"Well done is better than well said",
but what’s the point on doing it? Are our sweats paid?
Do you think it’s that easy?
If you say so, go on, show that “easy-peasy”,
prove that your words are not just for show!
I'm feeling like breaking down,
I'm losing myself, really, I’m really going down,
don't say to me "Don't give up",
because saying that makes me really wanna give up!
To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I".....
Am I for her?
By:~dae_meen~
I WOKE UP in a dark and black place. All I see is night, and darkness all around. Where am I?
“Tap tap tap.”
Suddenly I heard footsteps, coming to me.
“Tap tap tap.”
I heard them again, “Whose footsteps are these? Who is coming to me?” I asked my self as my heart beat pounded wildly by the second.
“Tap tap tap.”
I heard the same footsteps, this time clearer and coming nearer. Then it stopped and everything went silent, silent as the dead.
Then I saw a light, a very bright light the shape of a human being standing in front of me about 3 meters in distance. It was a blurred image at first, but it became clearer by the moment like a lens of a camera closing up on an image. The image became clearer and clearer. An image of a woman, a beautiful woman fully dressed with a hijab on emerged in front of me.
Stunned by the moment; I did not know what to do. Paralyzed. I can feel my beating heart pounded rapidly. “Who is this woman? Who is she?” I asked to myself.
The woman in front of me smiled then she said “Assalamualaikum Akhi…”
*********************************
“Mama…I want to tell you something…Do you have 5 minutes?” said Ameen as he sat beside his mother.
His mother was typing something on her Toshiba Elite. She then stopped typing, took of her glasses and placed it on the living room table. She glanced at his son, stared at his 21 year old son.
“Hah…What is it this time?” Dr Salbiah answered back.
“Do you still remember that day you told me, there’s this wonderful Muslimah who you said was suitable for me?” He seemed a bit nervous, but “Follow your heart, and you will see the light.”
Dr. Salbiah smiled, a very deep smile. “What about it?” She replied as if she didn’t care the feelings behind his son’s words.
“Well, I’ve thought it through mom, but…” He didn’t finish his words.
“But what son?” Dr Salbiah eagerly wanted to know.
In a very sad tone, nearly cried, Ameen said “But…It’s not easy to YES and it’s actually hard to say NO…”
Both of them went silent. Then his mother voiced out “What was the answer to your ISTIKHARAH?”
“I had this dream, but I’m not so sure what is best for me” said Ameen, confused.
Then Dr. Salbiah wrote something in a piece of paper and gave it to him.
“Today is the 10th of Ramadhan right? Ask for Allah’s forgiveness every night. Ask Allah ‘Please protect me with your might’, regarding you Istikharah, InsyaALLAH, you will get it right” wonderful words came out from his mother.
“Insyallah mama, I’ll try my best, I will have the answer in this holy month” smiled Ameen.
**************************************
Ameen woke up from sleep. It was 3 O’clock in the morning. His body was sweating.
“Who is that woman in my dream? Is she the one my mother was saying about?” Ameen said to himself, his dream was too clear.
“Yeah, she was shining in light...” Ameen flashed back his dream.
“O yeah, she gave me Salam. Waalaikumussalam..” Ameen answered her salam back.
Ameeen smiled remembering his wonderful dream just now, but then his eyes were brimming with tears and tiny droplets running trough his cheeks slowly. Why is he crying? Why is he crying when he was just gifted with a very wonderful dream?
Ameen got up from his bed; he rushed to get ready for prayer, as if he were on his way to meet his loved one. Ameen merged with his prayer, giving all of his attention to Him.
Ameen silently beseeched his CREATOR after performing solah Taubah: “O ALLAH, what was the dream just now? Are you showing me that she is the one? Will she be the one for me?” Ameen paused because he was crying so deeply.
Then he continued “She seemed to be so perfect, she is so beautiful and so well-dressed as a Muslimah. But O ALLAH!Am I for her? With the position that I’m in, in your eyes, is she meant for me? Am I, an awful person meant for her?”
“O AL-MUHAIMIN!! Once a man came to Al-Hasan ibn Ali and said: “I have a daughter. To whom should I marry her?” He answered: ‘Marry her to a man who has taqwa. If he loves her he will be generous to her and if he does not like her he will still treat her well.’ Will I be generous to her? Will I treat her well?
Ameen begged and pleads to his CREATOR as if a drowning person wanting to be saved “O ALLAH!! I am afraid. I am afraid if I am a wrong-doer. Allah will be angry to me because I will be responsible for causing her to lose her Deen. O ALLAH!!! I am fearful that I haven’t devoted my life and death only for YOU as what you said in Surah Al-An’am: 162 ‘My prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allah alone, the Cherisher of all the worlds.’
“O ALLAH. If it is true that I am for her, then show me a path where I can know her. O ALLAH!! Guide me to your LIGHT!!”
As he finished his sharing moment with his CREATOR, he read some verses of the Quran. It was 4 o’clock in the morning. He climbed back to bed not to sleep but to thought once more about the two paths open to him--one leading to happiness in this temporary life; the other ending in spiritual happiness in eternal life. He was well-aware that true peace could only be found by remaining a faithful Muslim and adhering to Islamic principles, thus avoiding any deviation from Islam.
The first path would take him to a world of luxury filled with misleading comforts and illusionary happiness. The other path would guide him along life’s road. By following this path, he would savor victory and be crowned with the laurel of firm belief and determination. Since he was gifted with true understandings as a Muslim, as natural, the misleading road will be rejected, but still, Ameen sometimes felt weak in the face of threats and temptation.
He then felt tired and his eyes were also tiring. The question on “Who is she?” not important to him right now. The question that is in his mind is that "Am I 4 her??"
Out of exhaustion, Ameen doze off together with that question that keeps on playing in his mind without pausing. “Is this the answer to my ISTIKARAH? Will this end in peace? Give me an answer, please.”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Date : Tuesday, 3rd August 2010
Time : 8.00PM - 10.30PM
Venue : ADM LT 3, IIUM
Organize by : IIUM Journalism Club [http://jc-iium.blogspot.com/]
Speaker : HILAL ASYRAF [ http://www.langitilahi.com/ ]
Penulis novel VT, Terasing, Senergi, Langit ILAHI, Relasi, Remaja Mulia dan Kembara Hamba Mencari CAHAYA.
8.00 pg - 9.20 pg: Pendaftaran
9.20 pg - 9.35 pg: Ucapan Alu-aluan dan Taklimat Program
Bacaan Al-Quran
Perasmi
9.35 pg – 11.00 pg: Slot 1: Prof Dr. Ismail Ahmad
11.00 pg – 11.15 pg: Minum Pagi
11.15 pg -12.40 tgh: Slot 2: Kaitkan dalam konteks rakyat Gaza
oleh :Tuan Noorazman mohd Samsuddin
12.15 tgh - 2.00 ptg: Slot 3 Forum: Mahasiswa yang proaktif dan inovatif Ahli panel
“Muhaimin, here’s your RM50” Mr Khalid called out for me, I went to him and received that piece of valuble paper. Man! I smiled out of satisfaction! Today (Saturday) was all about earning money, money and money! When it comes to money, I don’t care whether I have to work from 7.30 am to 7.00 pm. Nearly 12 hours in sweat! But I don’t care because I will be paid! After received that money, got my ride and went back home. Even my exhausted body and acking back is got like thin air after receiving that reward. Well, it sure was breath-taking but it also satisfiying (One day= RM50, it’s quite good right?).
Sorry if I sound like ‘I’m crazy over money’ in the introduction. The truth is, I am crazy about money! But my obsession about having money is directed to a clear purpose. I always make sure that my intentions are clear and keep this in mind “All my intentions alright, am I doing it for ALLAH? When I’m looking deep deep down inside, do I have the right niyyah?”- Intentions, Native deen. I also bear in mind the quotation by Abdul Rahman Auf “I never put weath in my heart, it is always in my hand.” These are essential reminders for me when I confort money.
I’m neither rich nor I have many possessions. My study fees and every expenditure in my life is coming from only one source, that is my parents. So that is why I choose to search for a part-time job for me to earn extra income and not solely depending on my parents. You see, every semester, the fees are RM1090.00, comprises of study expenditure and hostel, that doesn’t count my pocket money. How much in total do you think my parents have to spend only for me for one year? Maybe nearly 6 thousand ringgit? That is a lot of money. (If I save that money, I could buy a FZ 150 i).
For this reason, I try to search every part-time job possibble for me to take. My mother wont allow me to apply for loan and I am not yet qualified to earn shcolarship (because I’m back in first semester). If I am in the financial crisis, I don’t have the guts to text or call my mother and say “Mama, may you be in the pink of health. Its very dark here, I can’t afford to buy a torch-light” or “Mama, may ALLAH bless you. Theres inflasion going on in IIUM and everything is expensive, I only ate Mee Cintan everyday mama” or “Mama, my bottle is empty, I need to refill.” Whether it is a direct message or not, i’m like spineless even to ask even though my mother once said to me “It is the duty of the parents to give what is best for their children. Don’t pull back to ask, we parents will give what we can. Don’t spend to much. Save money Amin.”
Taking a part-time job is actually fun (apart from exhaustion). You tend to meet new people and learn wonderful things that you will never get just doing your everyday life on campus. The most meaningful value that I’ve learn is what once said by a senior of mine, bro Faisal “Now you know how hard it is just to earn a RM50.” Yeah, now I really know how is it to be a parent working and in the same time raising a family, tough, exhausting and you have to confront many new difficulties. “Every fool can make a baby, only man can raise one”-Outlandish.
That is why I’ve change from not fasting at all to at least fast for one day in a week. I am always on diet and spend RM5 only a day, that means breafast, lunch and dinner is in one meal only! Around 4 o’clock everyday…(huhu)… That is why I am not fat! (haha).. One old friend of mine said to me “You still look the same as if your still in form 5”. All my old friends have doubled their weight.
Last words from me, don’t let money control over you. Spend money for best and clear purpose only. May ALLAH bless us all.
